Ugh. One rep max clean and jerk. I say ugh because I was having a great day til this WOD came around.

So.. My newest 1RM clean, squat clean rather, is 175. I was really hoping I could jerk 175, but it didn’t happen. So I went for a new clean PR of 180, and I couldn’t get it. I was just psyching myself out. Just picking up the bar was difficult and I’d psych myself out, and people were watching and I hate it. It makes me nervous and I’d rather only do it with a few close people around me, OR with a bunch of people around me who aren’t paying attention and who I don’t know. I dunno. It’s all in my head.

I ended up power cleaning 175 twice, which basically means I can do more than that now, but I just couldn’t get under it enough to jerk it overhead. I need to work more on squat cleans again, and on split jerking. #crossfitproblems

At one point, I just freaked out and walked outside. The tears came (jesus, what’s with the crying lately?) and Tom came out after me and was like, “What’s the deal? Get out of your head. Go lift some shit. Just pick it up and make it happen.”  I was able to power clean the 175 again, but no overhead. 🙁

What sucks is, Anne and Gina both got insane numbers that day. Anne pulled a 190 C&J and Gina 175. I felt like such a failure. 🙁

The most I ended up C&J was 155. After that, I was just a mess. Fell apart. I’m gonna chalk it up to emotions and being drained and hopefully I’ll be able to come back stronger and better the next go around.

SO… the WOD. It was hard, but I wanted to beat myself up, especially after my stupid emotional girl breakdown.

WOD:
10 min EMOM
2 cleans (squat or power) 205/145
ME HSPUs for the remainder of that minute

So I use an ab mat and a 35 or 45lb plate for my HSPUs, but I will say that these were some of the strongest ones I have ever done. I don’t kip. I can, but it’s super taxing, so I just do a little lower, tap of the head, and back up, strict style.

The cleans were heavy. Especially after trying so many times to get that C&J and maxing out twice. To pull 145 twice every minute for 10 minutes was the pain and torture I wanted. My shoulder was a little aggravated, but I stuck with it. I only missed one clean out of all of those, and I made up for it. So.. 20 power cleans at 145lbs. That’s a lot of weight. We normally don’t do heavy stuff like that, but I was happy to RX the weight, at least.

Final score, 65 HSPUs with my ab mat and 45lb plate. Awesome. I left feeling like shit though. Like a total asshole for reacting the way I did, even though it was entirely unintended, unexpected, and uncontrolled. Stupid hormones.