I just wrote this on Facebook earlier, and I keep re-reading it. Is this really me, am I really like this? Why am I questioning the very words that came out of my own head? But it is me. I have moments of courage, discouragement, anxiety, strength, mental clarity. It comes and goes, but usually, I’m pretty determined about stuff, unless I truly don’t care.
And if I have gotten to the point of not caring about something (or someone), especially something I used to be passionate about, it will take an act of God to reverse my feelings. You have just about lost me if I went from ‘caring a lot, to giving zero fucks’. It’s possible to reverse, but it’s not easy. With that being said… here’s what I posted.
Give me a set of rules with the intention to restrict and confine me, and I will find every way in the book to push those limits and test those boundaries. The rules can be physical, unspoken ones, too. They are just there. They just exist. And there are people in this world who simply accept them and go about their lives with their clear-cut rules set in place, and then there are others who say no… this will not deter me, govern me, define me. I will set my own rules…
I am reminded by my own mind, will, and determination every day that I was born to be the latter. And I love it.
|Sleeping Bear Dunes on Lake Michigan|