If you’re up to date on my incredible life, you’re may be wondering if I found my ring yet, and the answer is no.. but thanks. 🙁 I’m still searching, in fact I went through 5 more garbage bags tonight (from the KITCHEN.. gross.. old chicken, coffee grounds, onion peels.. at least we’ve been eating healthy..) but I’ve found that whenever I get my hopes up, I only get let down that much more, so I need to accept the fact that it’s gone and just get over it and move on. Keeping the faith and thinking someday it’ll show up again is only going to set me up for failure, especially since I can’t control the outcome or its whereabouts, and all that jazz.
Does that seem really negative? Welcome to Realist Alicia. The real me when strength and positivity and motivation and success and joy and happiness aren’t present. Defeated, Realist, Alicia. The “what the fuck is the point of continuing to search when it’s probably in a landfill somewhere” mentality. That’s kinda where I’m at. It’s really super awesome. The feeling comes and goes, sometimes I’m fine, sometimes I just can’t believe at how horrible of a person I am for being so careless with something so important and irreplaceable.
Fuck I sound like I just lost my soulmate of 65 years. It’s just a ring. It’s just a few stones. I need to get over myself and realize that most people are only concerned out of politeness, not because they actually give a shit. I hate fake, forced sympathy. I don’t want anyone to choke out apologies out of obligation. I know some people genuinely feel for me, but I can only be this way for so long. I need to get over it, and deal with the realization that it’s most likely gone and won’t be found.