Lots of people have asked about my weekend and how I did at the competition. I don’t like to complain, but I don’t like to lie either. Like I posted yesterday, I am so thankful for good friends. Without those people around the last two days, I would’ve had a really miserable time and I probably would’ve called it quits and came home after the first day. I felt cheated by the way they set their standards, and like a total jack ass because I couldn’t advance through some of the WODs that had movements that I couldn’t quite perform. As some of you know, for the first time ever I got a pull up during the last Crossfit Open WOD and I was ecstatic. I can do 1 at a time, and only if I’m fresh. Two of the WODs this past weekend required pull ups (in the women’s scaled division, no less!) and I was mortified, but opted to give it my best shot. The first WOD resulted in me standing there like an idiot because I couldn’t get through the 5 pull ups buy in. I earned a score of 1, because I could only do 1 pull up.
On the 2nd day, during the 3rd WOD, the people in charge of the standards decided to change what was acceptable after the 1st heat. They first said that only Knees to Elbows would be accepted, not Toes to Bar. Well, I can do Toes to Bar, but my K2E skills aren’t so hot. For those of you who don’t know, Knees to Elbows are a scaled version of Toes to Bar, so both should’ve been accepted. After the 1st heat went, they decided to make T2B acceptable. (I was in 1st heat and the standards changed after I had already gone.)
I also learned that jumping pull ups WERE being accepted (and recorded people doing them, just for visual proof) after I was told they weren’t. Had I been able to do those, I would’ve been able to get through the 5 pull ups buy in on the previous day. I am beyond frustrated by this, and I don’t expect anything to come of it, I just want it to be known that this happened, and resulted in a lot of people feeling cheated. I didn’t go to this competition expecting to win anything, but I also didn’t go with the intentions of feeling completely and utterly defeated, either.
After over a year of CrossFit and positive attitudes and awesome people and an incredible community surrounding me, this is the first time where I’ve been made to feel this way by someone else’s actions. If I had ever felt defeated before, it was because I was trying something new that I wasn’t quite able to do. But the whole point of a scaled division is so that those who don’t have all the movements yet can still compete and give it their best shot. In my opinion, anyway, whatever it’s worth.
I don’t like being the complainer, but I think everyone else who felt the same way as me was too ashamed of being vocal about their disappointment, or they tried to move on, or they tried to brush it off like it didn’t matter. This DID matter, it mattered to me. Crossfit competitions aren’t supposed to make you feel like shit, mentally. They aren’t supposed to break you down and make you feel like you’re not good enough. They’re supposed to challenge you, and test your limits, and show you what you can do and what you still need to work on.
I know the next one will be better. I just needed to get this out of my system. I need to just answer the question of “Hey!! How’d the competition go!!?” with something like “Oh it was hard but I got through it.” Instead of rambling on the same fucking story. Nobody wants to hear a complainer. The last few times it’s come up, on the inside I’m like, just SHUT UP, Alicia.. nobody cares. Blehhhhhh.
And here I am.. focusing on the negative. The reality is, I got to meet some really awesome people. Will post about that later. 🙂 The awesome and the shitty don’t go hand in hand.