Today I plan to tackle Crossfit TWICE.. and I’m very much looking forward to doing it again! My knees are a little sore right now from our morning workout, as is my left arch (from the resistance running) so I’m curious to see how I’ll feel the 2nd time around. I may opt to do the competitor WOD instead of the same one again, so yeah.. at least there will be options.
Today, my friend (and former trainer/coach) Erin M came with me!! It was so awesome to have her there! It was like I could relax and work at my own level, the best I could, and the person who was with me understood all that. We had a partner WOD today and we worked together, which made it so cool. She knows my strengths and weaknesses and yeah.. I MISS THAT. One of the things with starting all over at a new place is having those people learn all your strengths and weaknesses, abilities, etc. They have no idea who I am, what I’m capable of, and that sort of thing just comes with time, I know. But starting from scratch really sucks sometimes.
Our WOD today was supposed to be:
(between 2 people, and you had to alternate, you couldn’t do things at the same time)
50 goblet squats (25lb weights) We did 100 total, 50 each, with 25 lb weights.
50m resistance run (each person does it twice, for a total of 4 runs)
50 burpees. I did 5 at a time, Erin did 10, up to 75 total.
50m resistance run (x2 again)
50 box jumps – we did 75 total, I tried to aim for 10 at a time
50m resistance run (x2)
We finished in 23:59
THEN… Erin did 100 wall balls combined with another girl there, Amy. Erin definitely got her ass kicked today! I’d love for her to join Total Control but we’ll see. It’s ultimately up to her, of course.
"I hope Wednesday is better, but I almost want to go tomorrow to make up for how badly I sucked today. Maybe I'll do a WOD in the morning and then spin in the afternoon, just to torture myself. I sure as shit need the exercise.”
"Today I plan to tackle Crossfit TWICE”
=/
What happened to recovery? You’re body needs to rest! Is there something I’m missing because I’m an outsider? Or am I seeing something you’re not because I’m an outsider?
Meh.. recovery is necessary, but I get so down on myself, so mopey and depressed about everything. I rarely talk about it because it's embarrassing, frankly.
I feel like I'm not doing enough. I need to do more, like I need to suffer through more to be a better and more worthy person, in better shape, healthier.
I still feel like an outsider no matter what I do or where I go, that I've either found myself withdrawing from people altogether, or trying too hard to fit in. Usually I try too hard to be a part of things, and then I realize it after the fact, and completely withdraw because I feel like I'm making a fool out of myself.
I feel underestimated, like people don't understand my strengths, and they expect less of me than I'm capable of, which is really frustrating when I'm working out. What's even more annoying is when I do things, and I exceed everyone's expectations, and then they get really surprised, and then I'm like, wtf, wtf did you think I was capable of? Just because I'm overweight and need to shed excess body fat, doesn't mean I'm not strong or capable.
I'll stop now. 🙂